One Year Anniversary

Today, believe it or not (I'm not sure I do), it's been one whole year since I had my jaw surgery.  So much has happened in that time, almost all of it good, and all it for the good.  Yes, I had some rough times (month two to three, I'm looking at you!) but I can unequivocally say that I'm glad I had the surgery done.  It's amazing how much of my life I've gotten back since that day, how much I enjoy my life.  My pain is so reduced and not the center of every minute.  I can (and do) eat almost everything.

A great example of what I mean would be this past Sunday.  I invited a group of friends that have been on this journey with me for a get-together.  We all met at my favorite Mexican restaurant.  I was able to sit with my friends, talk as much as I want, eat chips and salsa and any meal I wanted and just be a normal (for me) person.  Then we all went back to my house and spent the evening playing games and noshing.  It was a perfect way to celebrate how far I had come; doing the things that my TMJ had taken away from me.

Seeing as how it's that time of year, I think I would like to list some things that I am thankful for.

First and foremost, I am thankful for my husband, James.  I'm not sure that I would have been able to make this journey without him.  He's supported me in so many ways I can't even begin to recount them.  For the silly things he'd do to try to distract me in the bad times. For celebrating even the small triumphs with great enthusiasm.  For not saying the things I'm sure he wanted to when he caught the undeserved whiplash of my pain and anxiety. For uncountable hours of "rubs".  For just being there when everything else felt like it was slipping away.  Thank you, James.

(The following is chronological order, not, in anyway, order of importance.)

I am thankful for my Physical Therapist, Shawn Everson.  He worked every bit of talent and skill he had to keep me together before the surgery and has managed to find even more of both in the time of my recovery.  He has showed me the importance of listening to my own instincts as well as my health professionals and of patience.  And of exercises; lots and lots and lots of exercises.  I know that I would not have gotten as far as I have without him.  And I know he'll do whatever he can to help find my way even further along.  Thank you, Shawn.

I am thankful for my jaw doctor, Dr Keller.  His knowledge, skill and patience never cease to amaze me.  Here is a man who can make you feel like you are the most important patient in an office full of really important patients.  You will get all the time, all the answers, and all the compassion that you need while you are with him.  And laughter, you'll get lots of that, too.  And the same goes for his staff; they have trained him well.  Thank you, Dr Keller and all the folks at Keller Professional Group.

I am thankful for my surgeon, Dr Movahed.  When I started down the surgery path I thought I was going to have to this incredibly scary surgery with a surgeon I barely knew in a hospital a very long way from home.  But through this amazing confluence of this person that knew that person that was willing to get to know this other person, I was able to find an skilled and caring surgeon right here in my own home town.  The chance to return to my own home so soon after surgery but still be able to easily follow up with my surgeon made those early days so much better.  He answered all my questions, allayed my fears, and forgave me when I was a truly horrible person.  He rebuilt my face and my life and everything is awesome!  Thank you, Dr Movahed.

I am thankful for my mother, Mom.  (OK, she has a name, Lois.  But you don't call your mom by her name!)  She made the long trip down here for the surgery and was the most welcome distraction for both me and James in that first week after surgery.  She watched Grumpy cat movies with me, told me how horrible my lips looked after surgery, and managed to not hurt anybody because of what they were doing to her little girl.  I know it's been very hard for her to be so far away during my recovery (now you know how I feel, Mom!) but it's been so important to know that she cared about how I was doing.  And thanks for dropping your chip at Matador, it's one of my favorite memories of my recovery.  Thank you, Mom.

I am thankful for all of my friends and family.  I'm not going to list you all here but please know that does not mean that you all weren't important to my recovery.  You've been with me on this journey from before the surgery and your support and encouragement has meant so much to me since.  Thank you, every one of you.

I am thankful for the other TMJ patients who have contacted me since my surgery, my Jaw Joint Fellows.  It means a lot to me that I share what I have experienced and learned over the last year.  I hope that each and every one of you can someday have a celebration of how much better your life is then, too.  Thank you, JJFs.

Well, I think that's about all.  I just want to say Thank You again to everybody.  I am so glad to have had this path to travel to where I am today and that you all have come along with me.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

Welcome!

Hello!

I just wanted to say Thank You to everybody who is visiting my blog from Dr Keller's Facebook page!  (Or any other source, for that matter.)  I hope you find something useful here.

*Please note: This blog is best read from the beginning, so you'll have to click back to it.  Sorry!  I can't seem to figure out how to display it any other way.

Please feel free to leave a comment if you have a question and I'll get back with as soon as I can.

I will be trying to keep things a little more up to date now that I know people will be visiting.  So feel free to bookmark/favorite here and check back in.

Thanks again!

Our TV Debut!

(A lot of you probably already saw this, so feel free to skip it if you'd like.)

A while ago, Dr Keller (jaw doctor) asked us if we'd be interested in going on one of the local morning TV shows to talk about our experience with TMJ and the surgery.  We discussed with and decided we liked the chance to to share and (maybe) help somebody to find treatment if they have the same problems.  So on August 14th, we headed to KMOV to do a quick bit with Dr Keller.

Here it is!


On a related note, Dr Keller and Shawn (my PT) did another bit last Friday.

Here's your chance to see Shawn.

Fourteen Year Anniversary

Tuesday was our 14th anniversary.  Wow, fourteen years!  I find it hard to believe; hard to believe that it's been fourteen years and hard to believe that it's only been fourteen years.  How does this tie in to my surgery blog, you ask?  Because we had a really great day and I think that is thanks to the surgery.

We started the day with breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts (mmm donuts) which I wouldn't have been able to do before the surgery.  Then we went on an hour long bike ride on the Katy Trail which I would have been in too much pain to do before the surgery.  (On a side note, the bathroom at the Bike Stop Cafe has this in it:

I love any place that knows what the secondary use for a bathroom is and accommodates it!)

Then we went to the Diner @ Mid Rivers Mall for lunch.  I had a delicious three cheese grilled cheese sandwich (did you know cream cheese goes really well on a grilled cheese?) with pickles, tomatoes and mustard and cheese fries (not on the sandwich but it's an idea).  Again, wouldn't have been able to do that this time last year.

Then we went to Menard's to price and buy some things for some projects we've been wanting to do around the house.  If you've never been to a Menard's and you need that kind of thing, I'll suggest you go check them out. The store is huge so the selection is amazing and we've rarely run into an associate not willing to walk you through both the store and your project.  And prices are at least comparable if not better than other big box places.  And we finally got to truly utilize Spyder's carrying capacity as we came home with there bags of river rock, a coil of edging stuff, a roll of landscape cloth, a cylinder for Jamie's grill, and some other small stuff.  He was a trooper.  (Spyder, not Jamie.  He was a kid in a candy store.)  Before surgery, I wouldn't have given a crap what the house looked like; now I'm outside myself enough to see the potential in things around me.

We dropped that stuff off at the house and then headed to Matador (our new favorite Mexican place) where I had veggie fajitas.  Yes, fajitas!  Like wrapped in a tortilla and with stuff on it and I didn't use a fork and knife to eat it!  And a margarita!  At one point I looked over at James and he was looking all dorky-smiley at me: "What?"  "It's so good to see you really eating."  "Thank you!  It's good to be able to really eat!"  And when that was all done (and I ate almost all of it, except the icky peppers) I still had enough jaw power left to eat cake!

So the point of this long ramble is this:  I was able to enjoy the anniversary of my wedding with the man I love because of my care team and my family and my friends.  Thank you all for giving me back to me!

Five Month Anniversary

AKA: Better Late Than Never?

Two days ago was the five month anniversary of my surgery.  I can now say that I'm happy that I had it done.  I've been eating more and more over the last month, been out socializing and going out with James, and all around been leading a much more normal life.  My overall pain is greatly diminished and there are even times when either I don't hurt at all or it's so little I don't notice.  I never understood the impact of chronic pain but now I understand just how much it was affecting (effecting? Why can't I get that straight?!)  my life.  In the past month I have been out for a five mile hike, a picnic, and another 3 mile hike.  We're thinking about going bicycling for our anniversary next week and I've purchased a six-week belly dance lesson package.  All around, I'm feeling alive again.  (Though the arrival of Spring probably has helped that.)  And James says that I'm a much nicer person to be around (at least after my first meal, kinda iffy before then).

On the doctors front, everybody seems very happy with my progress.  Dr Movahed (surgeon) was pleased enough that he told me not to come back for three months.  (On an interesting note, I asked him why the right side of my head , like my neck scar, my ear, my upper jaw on that side, etc., was not healing as well as my left.  He said that is very common but he'd have to make up a reason because nobody knows for sure why.  He'll never fake knowledge if it's not there.  I love my surgeon!).  Shawn (PT) says that there's been a a lot of progress recently and is happy that I'm maintaining that progress so well.  We have moved back to two sessions a week from three.  Dr Keller (jaw doctor) said that he will start moving my teeth next month and they took impressions for an appliance that will allow for that movement.  Once my teeth are settled then we can start talking about the braces coming off.  Yay!

I started working with Elizabeth McChesney (a nutritionist) in early March because I had dropped in weight to 109lbs.  I got lucky and she told me: Eat all the (healthy) fat and sugar you want and don't move around too much.  Oh darn!  I was stuck at about 110lbs for several weeks and then *boom* I put on six pounds in two weeks!  Elizabeth warned me that I would do that and she was right.  While I'm happy to be putting on some weight, I know it means the end of the "eat anything you want" diet.  I'd gotten to quite liking Donettes with breakfast and desserts at both lunch and dinner.  *sigh*  All good things must come to an end.  I only weigh-in once a week, so we'll see what I'm at on Tuesday.

Overall, I'd say life is pretty good.  I hope all y'all can say the same!

Four Month Anniversary

So today is the four month anniversary of the surgery.  And I feel like I can say things are looking up!  I now feel like the whole thing may be worth it.  And that was not something I was willing to say from month two to month three.  I may still have a long way to go but I feel the progress for the first time.  Yay!

I still plan (as I have for the last month) on doing a more complete update soon.  Yeah.  Totally do.

And also, today is the husband's birthday.  I could never thank him enough for all the love and support that he's given me through all this.  Some people go this road alone; I am eternally grateful that I don't have to.  Thank you, babe!

Three Month Anniversary

Today is the three month anniversary of my surgery.  Though I've been out of touch for the the last month, I did want to acknowledge the milestone.  Also, I wanted to let anyone who may still be following this blog know that I remember it's here, I've just not been at all interested in posting.  Or in much of anything else.  But more on that later.  Thanks to any/everybody who is still with me.

Two Month Anniversary

Today makes it two months since the surgery.  I have to admit that I can't muster the "Rah-rah, surgery!" attitude I had at the one month mark.  But I'm still going.  That's something, right?

Actually, when analyzed, I'm doing fine.  I just don't feel that way.  And as those who know me know, I'm all about that feel, about that feel, about that feel.  (I actually don't like that song but pop culture can be so pervasive invasive.)

So, time to balance that negative!

Everybody's a Critic

How Did I Miss That?!

Of all the people I've shown the xray pics of me post-surgery (and it's been quite a few, I have copies on my phone) only two have noticed that I now have bunnies in my head.

I didn't even notice it until the first person pointed it out.  But as a good friend (who was one of the two) pointed out, "That's so you, Heather."

The Cat Has Me Trapped at the Computer

So I guess now would be a good time for an update.

Last Wednesday I went to Dr Movahed's to have the draining fistula bebrided.  I also wanted him to look at a stitch in one of my neck scars because it had broken through the skin and was irritating.  This was not one of my better visits with Dr Movahed.  And by "not better" I mean we were barely on speaking terms by the time I left.

I had already gotten myself pretty wound up about how bad this debriding was going to be so I was already in a mood.  And then he started trying to remove the stitch mentioned above.  That bad boy was not coming out and after a few minutes of him yanking on it and me whining about it, he gave up.  We moved on to the debriding part of things.  This required pretty much a mini surgery; masks, gowns, sterile trays, the whole nine yards.  That was a lot more than I was expecting.  Because of the above mentioned barely on speaking terms, I'm still not quite sure what he did but I know it involved a large syringe, a lot of tugging and pushing on my lower jaw, stitches, and something called (much to my terror) a bone rasp.  And we decided that since we were "in surgery", why not cut open that incision site on my neck and remove that stitch.  So now I'm full of new stitches and empty of happy; or even civility to be honest.  How my Mom has had two hip replacements and several eye surgeries while conscious is beyond me.  I would have murdered somebody part way through any of those.  I've never been so happy to get the hell out of his office before.

I went home and spent the next few hours wallowing in my own self-misery.  Well, actually I went home and wallowed in a percocet and when I woke up a few hours later, I felt absolutely horrible about how I had acted at the office.  I texted Dr Movahad that night to apologize and he seemed cool.  But I still owe him a huge apology when I see him next week.  On the upside, the bebridment appears (knock on wood) to be healing nicely.  I don't know about the neck thing because he said to leave the steri-strip on until it fell off of its own accord which it hasn't done yet.  Though Shawn (who saw me on Thursday after all the drama) says it looked a lot less swollen with no redness or anything bad-looking on Monday.

I've added a new weapon in my arsenal against depression.

This a a Verilux full-spectrum lamp or as we call it, the Happy Light.  We've actually owned it for a couple of years but never really used it.  Well, I'm using the heck outta it now.  I spend about the first hour to hour and a half of each morning bathing in it's bluish glow and I think it's helping.  At least I seem to be capable of civil discourse later in the day (it's hard to tell if you have that capability when you're home alone except for the cat who won't come out of the bathroom because it's too cold any place else in the house).  So I'm going to keep doing that.  And I started the step-down process on the Klonopin last night and I'm hoping that will make me less half asleep and irritable bitchy for the rest of the day once I'm off it.

Shawn (my PT) is very pleased with the opening that he can get when he stretches my jaw.  I can't get anywhere near that myself but he says that's normal at this stage.  He just wants to keep the scar tissue growth under control until my muscles and nerves heal enough to take over.  I am swallowing all my pills now, which is a heck of a time saver and means I am getting some mobility since I can open enough to stuff a pill in there.  

For painkillers I'm taking tramadol twice a day and half a percocet at bedtime.  Occasionally I'll take a Tylenol if things are getting bad but I'm not close to my next pill and that usually works.

I've learned how to remove and replace my own elastics so I can do that for my home PT.  And I'm getting really good at it because I'm doing it four+ times a day.  Practice makes perfect.

On the whole, things are doing fine.  So, on to the important part: The Cute!

And yes, I'm still cold!

It's True

You can find a definition of yourself in the dictionary.

This is a great description of me most of the time now a days.

I'll try for something more upbeat later.  But not now.  My apologies

Could I Interest You In a Drink to Get Started?

So, I've always had a hard time staying properly hydrated, I just don't drink much.  And on the bottom of the list of things I want to drink is water which I am told by every source is the only thing I should be drinking.  But I just can't seem to get down more than two 16oz glasses a day, mostly while I'm taking meds.  But there is something that I can't seem to get enough of since the surgery...

Tea. Only green tea (can be flavored or not) and herbal teas.  But I'm drinking three to four (sometimes more) mugs of it a day.  I'm hoping that's acceptable. (My intertubez research says non-caffeinated teas can be counted as water intake, though I usually have two cups of caffeinated a day).

Either way, I would love to know what that craving is about.  I drank tea before the surgery but not like this.  Oh well, I guess there's worse things I could be craving.

And now, the cute!

Happy New Jaw!

Year!  I mean Year!  Sorry, little preoccupied at the moment.

Coming Soon!

I promise there will be a blog post again soon.  Until then, here is some important information that everybody should know in an emergency.

Happy Christmas!

Greetings, one and all!

I just wanted to drop a quick post to wish you all a Happy Christmas.  I hope you all had fun and ate too much.  For my part, I discovered that a slice of french toast, a cup of soy milk, and some maple syrup make a pretty darn nummy shake!

Be happy, be safe!  And I'll see you all later!

(via)

Happy Anniversary!

Today is the one month anniversary of my surgery.  And while it's not been fun, I'm still happy I had it done.  Misery with a future of normalcy is so much better than misery and no hope.  So, yay surgery!

What a Difference Six Hours Make

I went to both Dr Movahed and Dr Keller yesterday and I think they came up with some things that are helping me.

I talked with Dr Movahed about all the things that have been bothering me.  Much as I has suspected, he said that it was all very normal and that I was still doing very well and he was still very happy with my condition.  What he was not happy with the fact that I had gotten 2.5 hours of sleep the night before.  He asked how much I'm sleeping and I told him about five hours a night, usually in one to two ours stints with long periods awake in between.  He was concerned about that and pointed out the being sleep deprived stresses the body, a stressed body produced cortisol and cortisol inhibits healing.  From Wikipedia: "Elevated levels of cortisol, if prolonged, can lead to proteolysis (breakdown of proteins) and muscle wasting.^[9] Several studies have shown a lipolytic (breakdown of fat) effect of cortisol, although, under some conditions, cortisol may somewhat suppress lipolysis.^[10] Another function is to decrease bone formation.^[3]  So he recommended I take a sleep aid.  I totally wasn't interested in that be he not-so-gently insisted.  So I got a prescription for clonazepam which is on-label used for panic disorders and seizures.  But he said that he's tried a lot of medications over the years and this is the one that works best for his patients, allowing them to sleep and sometimes helping with muscle pain as well.

Then is was to Dr Keller.  I talked with him about he same things.  He decided that he was going to try dropping my elastics from a 6 (whatever that means) to a 2.  This would elevate the tightness and the clenching.  We decided to go ahead and fix the broken bracket too so we could return to the original elastics configuration.  Being in the loosened elastics has made me feel so much better.  He gave me some 4 elastics as well, in case I didn't feel like I was getting enough support from the 2s.  But, so far. I'm happy and going to stick with them.

Last night I took the clonazepam and got a solid six hours of sleep.  I felt so good this morning!  One problem?  It also tended to try to fall over for no reason and stared at air molecules.  Dr Movahad said that might happen but that it should clear up in a few days.  But I was so happy to feel good that I didn't mind having to make James come home from work to drive me to P.T. (neither of us felt I was safe to drive).  That and the fact I don't hurt from the elastics are making me a much happier camper.  And look what I can do to prove it!

Yeppers, I can smile!  Yay!

So at the moment, I'm feeling better about things than I have in about a week.  And I think everybody is grateful for that!

See everybody later!

...Don't Say Anything at All

Hello, Everybody.

So, I'm sure you've all noticed that I've been off the posting lately.  That's because I've been following the old adage of "If you can't find something nice to say...(title of post)".  I've not had anything positive to say this week and I feel like, if I post negative stuff, people will think I'm fishing for compliments or something.  But it's been quite a while now and I feel like I should be posting something.

Nothing horrible has happened for me to be negative about, but nothing (I feel is) positive has either.  I'm on yet another week of antibiotics because of that draining fistula.  Dr Movahed said he may have to debride it Monday.  That will require a novacaine shot and the rather nasty cleaning up of the area.  Yay.  I was told that I needed to take the week off rehab because the muscles in my face are all tight and spasmed and I'd just make things worse by trying to work them.  So that's one more week of scar tissue growing that will reduce my chances of a near-normal recovery.  And my muscle are still tight and spasmed  I have a bracket of my braces that has fallen off and they can't fix it right now because I can't open my mouth enough for them to get back to it.  So they changed the pattern of my elastics and it's really tight and causing pain in my jaw and I'm clenching my teeth because it's so tight. I'm not sleeping worth a damn and "eating" is getting to be more of a battle everyday.  Over all, I am not a happy camper.  But it is what it is.  I see both Dr Movahed and Dr Keller on Monday and we'll see what can be done to get things back on track.  And I've had a sore throat for the last few days and I'm really afraid of getting sick.  I've been trying to rest a lot and hope I don't actually get sick. *fingers crossed*

On a different note, we discovered that the new "The Muppets" (2011) movie isn't nearly as good as "Muppets Most Wanted" (2014) but that you really need to see "The Muppets" for "Muppets Most Wanted" to make sense.  We discovered this by watching them out of order.  If you haven't already seen them, we recommend sacrificing the time for the "The Muppets" to help with enjoying "Muppets Most Wanted".

And now, something to try to counteract all the negative: nostalgia!

I'm Still Here

Just a quick post to let everybody know I'm still here. Just not a lot to say. I'll try to get something together soon. Thanks for sticking with me.