That was F.U.N.*

So I was just walking through the kitchen talking to Jamie when there was a *ping* in my mouth.

Oh sh1t!  I just broke my first elastic.  Which is perfectly normal except nobody has shown us how to put them on.  Fortunately, Dr Keller's office gave us some bands, a tool and a diagram of my current arrangement on my last visit.  (We added the headlamp and the second tweezers.)

So at least we had the stuff.  Jamie gets to figure the rest out.  Lucky guy!

It wasn't easy (I have one hook that is really close to my gum and even the experienced people have troubles with it) or pretty (Jamie has an impressive cuss-vocabulary) and it was, of course, a back elastic making his first time out even more challenging.  He did it!  I'm so proud of him!  I know he was really not looking forward to having to do the elastics and was afraid that he would quit because it hurt me.  But he rose to the occasion beautifully!  *Hugs hubby*

I had read on blogs of people doing these elastics by themselves but I certainly don't see how.  Firstly, I can't see the back of my own mouth.  Secondly, I have to hold my cheek out of the way and it required two tools to do the job.  Not being Zaphod Beeblebrox**, I'm not sure how that would work.  Thankfully, I don't have to.  I have a loving and supportive husband who's willing to stick his fingers in my mouth if needs be.

So, crisis dealt with, husband praised.  And the worst part is some jaw muscle soreness.  All in all, I'll call that a success!

*Effed Up Nonsense
**Three-armed character from Douglas Adams's "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Who Knew?

I didn't think that the binder they were having me wear around my belly wound was doing anything.  Until I went without it for a few hours.  Owie.

So, On to Wednesday

OK, so on Wednesday I went in for a visit with Dr Movahed (surgeon).  He was beside himself with how well I'm doing  He, and everybody at the office, was surprised that I was talking at all or doing much of anything that I'm doing.  They were all quite happy for me.

There was one thing that I found surprising and somewhat disconcerting.  The roof of my mouth has felt very different since the surgery; there is a very definite ledge on the roof of my mouth just about where it transitions from "mouth" to "throat".  I figured this was the dreaded surgical splint that I had read about.  I found out that I don't have a surgical stint, that's the actual roof of my mouth.  That ledge is not the edge of the splint, it's the edge of my skull that he moved for the lower jaw placement. Eh?! *shocked*  That threw me off for about two days.  It weirded me out every time I would swallow and my tongue would push against it. *shiver*

Dr Movahed also removed my external stitches so I have a little more freedom in washing my hair and face.  Still not supposed to scrub at them or damage the area but I can accidentally bump them without too much issue.  I need to keep antibiotic ointment on them for the next 4-5 days, then I switch over to Mederma to reduce the chances of permanent scars.

We talked about several questions I had (like when will I be able to hear right again - 1-1.5 months; is the ear pain normal - yes, 1-1.5 months; how long will I have the bloody seepage from my sinuses  - at least 2 months, etc.).  Then he gushed some more about how well I'm doing.  As I was leaving, his patient care coordinator gave me a goodie bag.  So sweet of them!  And then they gushed about how well I was doing, "Oh wow, I can't believe how well you're talking!  You look so good!" and so on.

Since Jamie had some things to drop off at work and the surgeon's is a whole two miles from his office, he decided to stop by there.  I chose to go in and see people.  Everyone said the same things about how I'm talking and looking, etc.  It was nice to spend some time out with people, but it was time for me to go pretty quickly.  I fell asleep in the car on the way home and passed out for about an hour once we were home.  All in all, not a bad day.

I think being surrounded by so many people (some who know how things are supposed to go) and still being this impressed was the first time I started to truly understand how lucky/blessed/adjective of choice I am.  I really can't say it's been as bad as I had read or imagined it would be.  But considering what I've had done I really should be a lot less together than I am.  While I would be happy to be giving this part a miss, I am beginning to understand just how bad it *could* be.  So, to all concerned; from health care team to friends & family to any "other" factors:  Thank you.  There is going to be whining in the future.  Please do think that that complaining lessens my gratitude for all that I've received.

Yeah, So That Didn't Happen

Sorry there wasn't a post today.  I've been having a bad day (this time more pain, less emo) and never got my sh1t together enough to write something.  I'm hoping to have a go tomorrow.  After I refill my pain meds which I was stupid enough to allow to run out. *sigh*

Here's something funny instead?

The Post of Many Things - Is Long

OK, so yesterday wasn't the best day.  I think it was part proverbial "Bad Day" (every recovery as them) and part because I should have been back on my blood pressure medication (139/101 may be a bit too high).  So there is a lot to catch up on.  Here goes.

Monday - Dr Keller
We went to Dr Keller's for my first post-op visit on Monday evening.  Well, technically afternoon but it's dark so early now I lose track.  He was very happy with what he saw.  He said my new placement was about as level as one could hope for.  He, too, said that my recovery is going remarkably quickly and he's very happy.
He gave me some warnings about making sure I keep up my nutrition (*eye roll*) and to make sure that I follow all the things that I've been/ will be told to do.  And he was particularly pointed in telling me that I have to be very careful this winter.  I must. not. fall. down.  If there is any question that I can walk somewhere safely, don't do it.  Any trauma to my head or face could be irreparable at this stage.  That kinda scared me.  So now I'm more careful around the house and Jamie is always holding me when we walk outside.  Other than the dire warnings to be careful though, he was very positive about my prognosis.

Tuesday - The "Bad Day"
In the middle of the night Monday/Tuesday, I woke up convinced that I wasn't breathing.  I mean convinced.  I was fine as long as I was awake but as soon as I started to fall asleep, I knew I stopped breathing.  Oh, great!  That's one of the things this surgery was supposed to fix!  I panicked.  I paced, I shook, I woke up Jamie (so sorry, honey).  He spent some time talking with me and be all logical and sh!t like that.  It, of course, didn't work.  I knew (front brain) that there was an extremely thin chance of me now being an apneic sleeper; but I also knew (back brain) that I wasn't breathing.  He did eventually manage to talk me back to bed and, after changing the angle of the wedge pillow, a I dozed for the rest of the night.  This, however, set the tone for Tuesday.

I woke up feeling very negative, painful, angry, resentful, snippy, etc., etc., etc.  I sniped at Jamie.  I sniped at the cat.  I sniped at the blender.  I sniped at myself.  I made myself cry.   It was, all around, a very negative situation.

At some point in all of this, I decided I should check my blood pressure since I'd been off my medication for it but had restarted my birth control.  I was rather shocked by what I saw: 139/101.  Holy crap!  I went off immediately to take some meds and make sure that I redistributed them in to my daily pills.  Well, this certainly may explain some of the issues.  I'll monitor myself for the next couple of days and make sure that I get things back under control.

One good thing, I got to shower!  Yay for hair that isn't so covered in antibiotic ointment that it sticks out at odd angles.  Post-shower is when I usually take new photos.  So, here ya go:

No huge changes to note.  The swelling continues to go down and shape and definition are returning.  And you can see from the profile pic that my glasses don't fit my face any more.  The part of my face that they rest on has moved forward so much the templepieces are too short.  I'm going to try to go in this weekend and see if they can do something about that.  And I just bought two new pairs, too. *pout*

While I felt somewhat better that I had found a cause for my sudden malaise, I still spent the rest of the day being more than a bit of a bitch.  I spent several hours on the couch watching Jeeves and Wooster, glaring with hatred at random air molecules.  Both Jamie and Ariel gave up and essentially avoided me for the rest of the night.  Very wise creatures are they.

And that brings us today.  But I'm getting really tired and need to go get "dinner".  So I'll do today tomorrow.  Ah, a procrastinator's dream!

Thanks for stopping by.  Please feel free to post any comments or questions.  Or email me off-blog if you got it.  Bye-bye!

Bad Ideas #1

It's a really bad idea to watch a Story Corps short seven days out from this surgery.  You have to stand in front of the mirror to cry so you can catch the tears before they run into your stitches.  Then you have to go figure out how to deal with all the snot without blowing your nose.  *sigh*  But I was having one of the Pit of Self-Despair days so it's good to know I can feel for something other than myself.  And hey, endorphin, right?

If you want to cry (and I know you will if you watch this), this is the one that got me.

On a better note, I'll have a cup of this please.

Submitted for Your Observation

Hello, All!

It's the moment I'm sure you've all (not) been waiting for!  The first post op pics!  *Kermit flail*

So here goes!

There's the new profile.  I have lot more chin and my jaw is forward and not falling back nearly as much.  They lowered my jaw and moved it forward to a more natural and functional position, removed and cleaned up the bad joint areas and attached the prosthetic jaw joints.  Then they detached my upper jaw from my skull moved it down and froward so my jaws would align better.  Once the jaw is settled in, they'll work on moving my teeth so that everything functions properly.

There was a lot less swelling then I had imagined and when these were taken (11/30) I was already starting to get some definition in my cheeks and my lips were lip-shaped (they were slab-shaped before).  In this pic you can also see the incision line on my throat.  There is also one that runs in front of my ear hole (pretty much the whole length of the ear)  and a matching set on the other side.  And also, you can tell from the color on my throat that my transition to frog is well underway.  (Yes, that whole area is green from bruising.  Weird!)

Oh my god, there's been a horrible Botox accident!  OK, maybe not.  But emoting if not high on my list of things to do right now.  My most expressive facial feature is my eyebrows.  I can do disapproval, disbelief (including sarcasm), anger and surprise.  Not yet figured out how to smile with my eyebrows.  I just tend to say, "I'm smiling."  You can also see the frog transition in this photo.  Wonder if they make vegetarian flies?

Yesterday, I started changing from numbness and general achy-ness to more feeling and more specific, sharp pains.  I'm becoming distinctly aware of the stitches inside my upper lip and where my braces and wires are poking me.  And this morning I noticed my face was cold for the first time.  So progress is being made there.

Another challenge has been food and meds.  They want me intaking 60+ grams of protein a day. Ha!  That's not easy for a normal person, let alone a vegetarian with a whey allergy who is eating mostly via syringe.  And all my meds are crushed pills and those taste like total shite!  There is no substance I've found yet that can hide the flavor so I'm doing meds shots (mix it with water and knock it back ASAP).

I have an appointment with Dr Keller (jaw doctor) today and then probably will see Dr Movahed (the surgeon) again on Wednesday.  I don't really have a plan outside of those right now, though I'm sure it'll become more clear as we go.

Thanks to everybody for their comments and support.  It's nice to be reminded there's a world out there.